Some thoughts & events from the last few days (PA & NY).
1. My Grandmother's Funeral. She was cremated so there was no open casket which was fine with me cause it always creeps me out. My mom has been up there for a while and she is such a strong women. I don't know hows she handles it all. I can tell that she is exhausted. She basically put the funeral together herself. She is so selfless. She is kinda fragile and I don't want her to break. She didn't cry through the funeral and gave a elegant and brief talk about her mother. I love my mom a lot. I was glad to be there just to help her a little.
2. Sometimes I think I am cold hearted because I hardly ever cry and if I do it's over my personal life. I feel quite selfish and emotional-less.
3. Took a bus from Philly to NYC and got dropped off in the middle of Chinatown. And it was insane. I have never felt so disoriented in my life. I was in the middle of about a million Chinese people. Not that this is a bad thing, but I could not find the Metro to save my life and no one could speak Engrish. I went in circles for a about a half an hour before a darling girl pointed me in the right direction.
4. Had dinner at SEA in Brooklyn with John, Mia and Phil. Fantastic Time had.
5. Spent the day with John in Greenwich Village and SOHO. It was an interesting day. It was a brooding day. I wish I could post some pictures. It was overcast and the clouds were brooding. It felt like when you heart is so heavy that it dripping with tears, but you haven't bust out crying yet.
John & I had a great day wandering around. We didn't talk much, just enjoyed the company. He had a Russian K-3 16mm camera and took some footage of the City.
6. Visited Paradox and got to see some friends. Talked about truly knowing who God is and not our misconceived perceptions of Him. And how this translates into how we think God sees us and therefore how we view ourselves. It was actually a pretty deep topic that I will spend sometime today reflecting on.
7. Still finding it hard to be in social situations. So weird.
8. Today I am off for a run then heading to Central Park for some reading and prayer!