Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Steady Stream of Thoughts
Well. Life got busy and my little blog got treated like the red-headed step child. Dang. Life got BUSY. These past few months have been such a transition for me. Lots of good and lots of hard. I am not used to working this much. I work about 6 days a week. I take one day off. I ALWAYS have a never ending list of things to do. I don't finish my job and go home. (I want to clarify that I am not complaining just explaining.) I get no (steady) paycheck. And the ones I get now are significantly less....like missing a zero or two. I do things like go to yoga and swimming monday and fridays. I make myself almost EVERY meal. Cooking has been very cathartic. I entertain for lunch or dinner at least three times a week, sometimes five or six. I sleep in my OWN bed. I Spend time with people in Orlando. I am making NEW friends. Spending time with OLD ones. I read the Word almost everyday and try to start my day that way. I sometimes wake up with anxiety, feeling the physical pressure of what I have to do. Reminding myself about every day that I am choosing this and that GOD is bigger, badder, better than I can anything I can imagine. He has done so many things that I can just sit back and be incredibly grateful for. I watch a few shows in REAL time on my Telly. And sometimes with my brother and his new wife. I have no Boss. I have no co-workers. I miss some old co-workers. I DO NOT miss my old job. I hear things of what is going on where I used to work and want no part of it. Which surprises me. In a good way. I go to church REGULARLY. I meet with Lovers of Christ and share a (delicious home cooked) meal every week. I hear their stories and hear what they want to share about God's Word. I see God move and it's not me making this happen. I see the skills that I have learned over the past few years coming into play. I like that I can make my own schedule....but this can lead to working a lot or a nap if I really need it. I am challenged more than I have ever been in my life. I LOVE what I do. I like to believe in Faith for what will come. I love talking with people and getting them involved in OPP. I don't like being alone and understand why God said, "it is not good for man to be alone." I hope this will not be forever. But it feels this way. I have moments when I think I love owning my own business and moment where I do NOT feel this way. I have things go my way and many things that do not go my way. I need a new car: An SUV which I really don't care to own but actually need it. Plus my car is slowly/rapidly dying. I TRUST God. I DOUBT God. I remember and forget His PROMISES. But when I see them they are Sweet. I eat ALOT of things with sugar and like it. I have no LOVE interest and that almost makes me cry. I am learning to LOVE people a lot more. i.e. getting annoyed less. I took a hip hop class and was HANDS DOWN the worst one there. Just trying not to run into people and turn the wrong way. It was funny/not funny. But a good work out none the less. I spend time with my roommate JANA, whom I adore. Cooking and eating a meal with her is one of the best parts of my week. My Dad drops by my house on occasion and it's so lovely to get a hug from him in the middle of the day. I got a haircut. I stop by parties on a weeknight. I write this in a lightening storm. I am LOVED.