Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Steady Stream of Thoughts

Well. Life got busy and my little blog got treated like the red-headed step child. Dang. Life got BUSY. These past few months have been such a transition for me. Lots of good and lots of hard. I am not used to working this much. I work about 6 days a week. I take one day off. I ALWAYS have a never ending list of things to do. I don't finish my job and go home. (I want to clarify that I am not complaining just explaining.) I get no (steady) paycheck. And the ones I get now are significantly missing a zero or two. I do things like go to yoga and swimming monday and fridays. I make myself almost EVERY meal. Cooking has been very cathartic. I entertain for lunch or dinner at least three times a week, sometimes five or six. I sleep in my OWN bed. I Spend time with people in Orlando. I am making NEW friends. Spending time with OLD ones. I read the Word almost everyday and try to start my day that way. I sometimes wake up with anxiety, feeling the physical pressure of what I have to do. Reminding myself about every day that I am choosing this and that GOD is bigger, badder, better than I can anything I can imagine. He has done so many things that I can just sit back and be incredibly grateful for. I watch a few shows in REAL time on my Telly. And sometimes with my brother and his new wife. I have no Boss. I have no co-workers. I miss some old co-workers. I DO NOT miss my old job. I hear things of what is going on where I used to work and want no part of it. Which surprises me. In a good way. I go to church REGULARLY. I meet with Lovers of Christ and share a (delicious home cooked) meal every week. I hear their stories and hear what they want to share about God's Word. I see God move and it's not me making this happen. I see the skills that I have learned over the past few years coming into play. I like that I can make my own schedule....but this can lead to working a lot or a nap if I really need it. I am challenged more than I have ever been in my life. I LOVE what I do. I like to believe in Faith for what will come. I love talking with people and getting them involved in OPP. I don't like being alone and understand why God said, "it is not good for man to be alone." I hope this will not be forever. But it feels this way. I have moments when I think I love owning my own business and moment where I do NOT feel this way. I have things go my way and many things that do not go my way. I need a new car: An SUV which I really don't care to own but actually need it. Plus my car is slowly/rapidly dying. I TRUST God. I DOUBT God. I remember and forget His PROMISES. But when I see them they are Sweet. I eat ALOT of things with sugar and like it. I have no LOVE interest and that almost makes me cry. I am learning to LOVE people a lot more. i.e. getting annoyed less. I took a hip hop class and was HANDS DOWN the worst one there. Just trying not to run into people and turn the wrong way. It was funny/not funny. But a good work out none the less. I spend time with my roommate JANA, whom I adore. Cooking and eating a meal with her is one of the best parts of my week. My Dad drops by my house on occasion and it's so lovely to get a hug from him in the middle of the day. I got a haircut. I stop by parties on a weeknight. I write this in a lightening storm. I am LOVED.


Lee Anne said...

You're so great.
I love this post.

I SO wish we still lived in Orlando so we could hang out more often.

I hope to find a way to watch the other 30 Rock episodes from this season so we can watch that on Thurs nights too!

Love ya!
See you Sunday!

DanaMarie said...

ha! just got this now.

Yeah wish you were caught up so we could watch the Office and 30 rock together!

Thanks for reading my blog.